Toxic Thoughts in My Direction

Toxic Thoughts in My Direction

During my love addiction, I definitely harmed myself with self-criticism; but I couldn't hold onto my awareness of this long enough to make any change. The journal entries outline a pattern of noticing my self-defeating behavior (perfectionism, high expectations, being hard on myself) by briefly realizing Aha! I'm the problem and then seconds later scolding myself for being the problem.

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Suddenly, That Summer

Suddenly, That Summer

I couldn't have known it at the time, but this was my first memorable shame attack, and my earliest recollection of feeling that It's not safe to be me...I should be more careful...I can't let my guard down when I'm out there in the world. In other words, I unconsciously absorbed responsibility for what happened and assumed It must have been my fault.

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