Mötley Crüe and Peach Schnapps Made Me Do It

Mötley Crüe and Peach Schnapps Made Me Do It

And I did get out of there. Eventually. But in the meantime I codependently glued myself to that guy and measured my worth by how often he returned my calls; or showed up when he said he would; or did what I wanted him to do, including sign up for the GRE (which he never took) or flush his marijuana down the toilet (he always bought more). But he had so much potential! He just needed a little tweaking here...and there...he just needed the right person to fix him!

And I firmly and codependently believed that person was me.

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Toxic Thoughts in My Direction

Toxic Thoughts in My Direction

During my love addiction, I definitely harmed myself with self-criticism; but I couldn't hold onto my awareness of this long enough to make any change. The journal entries outline a pattern of noticing my self-defeating behavior (perfectionism, high expectations, being hard on myself) by briefly realizing Aha! I'm the problem and then seconds later scolding myself for being the problem.

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The Showoff

The Showoff

Negative false beliefs, fear, shame, and self-doubt. That's quite a lineup of ingredients that contributes to keeping us small by subconsciously telling us that it's not ok to take up space or to be the center of attention, that it's not ok to be BIG. And what exactly does it mean to be big?

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